Katrina (katty) ws bubbly,cherubic ,lively apart from her endometriosis which she has inherited from her mother, the gift of ignorance which ultimately became her gift of endurance.She was very fussy going to school since she was thirteen all those four days where the infirmatory head of her school scolded her often ,and unwilling to help her much when she wailed on like a pariah and then all of a sudden suggesting her “do not come to school all these period days”.
Katty was very sporty in every sense.She participated in long jumps,races,hurdles,400 m dash and alwayz stood first or second in her life .She didnt know she would be under the evil clutch and grip of a chronic disease .
It was painful,she tried to explain in bits to her mom,but as conservative Indian parent she would instruct her shutup revolving her big eyes, and then whisper in her ear”every woman tolerates ,just increase endurance level ,it wd go away as soon as you are married”
When she married Mick as an escape route from her economically backward home on her own choice without a ceremony, she ws totally abandoned from both the sides of the family ,her own and her inlaws.
Mick had to go for earning bread and butter and never tried to establish any physical relationship with katty. It was in the year 2002. She had a vague opinion about physical relationship.She thought It was her physical inability of being a female.Her feminity was a challenge for her.
The pain aggravated,she was left to stagnate ,die and work and work all domestic chores in her inlaw’s house.
Her hormonal imbalances started affecting her temper,moreover her better half not getting physical and accusing her for it.These all setbacks ,frustrations of many unfulfilled desires one example of it is not being able to wear even marriage gown and not being a part of such a grand ceremony of self celebration and to add fuel to fire ,hormonal disturbances ruining n devastating her .She was hysterical.
She implored everyone bending on her knees ,no one believed her,she stagnated whole one year ,went through rough and raw wrong diagonosis which completely took her to dark sick bed where no one to look after,except her name sake husband who could only care and take utmost care earning bread n butter simultaneously when she is sick but could not fulfil any physical desire as a husband ,which was unknown to her .When she stopped all her movement,started vomiting all through the day , stopped eating anything ,that very hubby of her raised fund for her to take her to higher institute for treatment.There the doctors treated her through laparoscopy surgery and put her in depoprovera for two long years.She was frequent visitor to the renowned hospital and medical college complaining about her endless pain.The medical team could not even think of the trauma she was passing through at the young age of 21. They would need an answer yes or no, they would go for surgery of all her reproductive organs.She would not.She was a bio science student understood every nitty gritty of organs and their functions specially the ovaries till there’s some cancerous growth.Her biopsy showed she had no endometriotic cancer.
Depoprovera has its own great side effects .katty was young ,still had lot many dreams and castles yet to be built by her in air .She was totally in paralytic condition in bed for three years ,slowly regaining her momentum to relive the zeal for life.
One fine day she started walking,next day she forwarded her resume to the loyola school, a convent school in a tinsel town.She was called by the father over there,she hid her illness thoroghly bagged up the job!!! Lo !!! She was happy.
But her inlaws accused her of not yielding a baby from the so called feminine machine without knowing the fact that how endometriosis challenges her feminity.she alwayz felt injured deep down in her organs .She had no desires anymore. She thought her Mick was a great man who don’t use his wife only for physical needs.
Her life was messy,no marital life ,only normal care, trust ,being there for each other for the society.Endometriosis sucked and engulfed her fully.
One fine day she had a talk with one of her ex boy friend and mentor ,a childhood friend just a hi and a hello note that’s it but they started talking emotional things thereafter. He suggested her homeopathy and some essential oil treatments .she started online medicine .katty was happier than before.He use to care her,think about her,love her,started meeting her and then started getting physical with her promising her that he would beg borrow and steal for her to be happy with lofty promises.Her endometriosis shrinking,Her hormones started becoming normal,she was desiring him and was in tremendous love with him.Her digestive system,kidney,jammed circulatory system all working.She was flying like a bird till her wings were clipped n then cut off by her ex as he was already married,had a son ,never took her serious enough,just a time pass.So he clipped her wings . When her husband Mick who had a major problem with his being physical (suffering from some birth defect) knowing everything chopped her wings in pieces forever.
All of a sudden she groaned in pain,she was very much in depresseion,tried to kill herself several times but in vain.Her endometriosis pain gradually aggravated.She would wail,vomit,cry,get senseless but the pain would not diminish.She wriggled,she gasped for breath as if her heart would choke ,the pain would as if burst her nerves of head and abdomen.
People would suggest “go for surgery” .She would lament in agony all her life a zilch had not been fulfilled,neither bodily desire,carassings and affection of a real love,nor an ofspring from her own womb along with great accusation of being a barren woman ..without minimal intimacy required to get impregnated.Now people curse her.How she would prove being an Indian ,cultured and conservative woman where boldness in all this is so taboo , and things aint so easy .Her desires ,wishes,soul and body only reacts ,responds and reciprocates to one and only Ryan.But he was very much virtual, elusive,indifferent in his attitude.He is more of a selfish stuff……
Katrina was beautiful,everyone admired her,she was apple of every man’s heart whom she knew.Her students would talk about their crush on her,her class mates and some neighbours would disclose about their first lady love which was she. She would feel horribly sick.She had endometriosis ,she had a caring hubby who had his physical limitation but wanted to keep it latent to the society ,she had a cheater man in her life who is a first class game player,bloody fucker ,morone whom she only desires (Ryan ) and her biochemistry, hormones,desires all syncs to him but he was on his own world .She was financially shattered and she was sick….she could not get up.Endometriosis is the disease she lives with. A blooming flower withered so pathetically.Once she heard her ex boy friend whom she loved and trusted so much said “endometriosis is a STD (disease), it would bring bad name to him,”the people of the place where once they used to stay,might think he was physical with her from mere childhood days so she had acquired this disease”. She could not trust herself when he went on babbling all this over phone,that guy he use to die for her took her medical condition to such a level being so educated.She felt devastated ..phew…Is this the society? What ,If she would have been from a masculine gender ,what she would have done even for any of her distant friend?
Only she could think all these clear honest ,humane things as she was suffering the dreadful disease and no one else, not even Ryan her childhood love whom she trusted so much! She could not do anything.She was physically very much unwell,devastated,dependent ,financially zilch,morally shattered and had no other options than caging her life till last breath totally segregating herself from the society………
#WHO#woman’s health#Endometriosis#chronic disease#incurable disease#depression#neglect#equality#endo#PFD #bonobology