A lot of people talk of broad mindedness or adoption of children to the childless woman.
There are many stars who adopted children from orphanages.Angelina Jolie and Sushmita Sen are examples.For them ,it’s quite easy,they have means and money ,though they created by themselves.
Ashiyan was often adviced to adopt as she was childless,alone and lonesome.She didn’t have so called means and money to raise.Moreover tough paperwork made her move away from all such things.Even if she meets all these issues somehow she has a unknown sharp piercing pain in her heart.
The pain was not so much of not being mother.If you all want to know her difficulty you have to think hard and ponder putting yourself in her place.
She was allured to marry by a guy at the age of twenty-two after seeing each other for just a couple of months.Though it was so called” love marriage” her marriage was not consummated.She was given some or the other excuses day by day.She could not just think in her dreams that the guy would have some problem.She always allegated herself and questioned her own feminity .She gradually fell ill and she was accused by him and her inlaws challenging her feminity. Gradually as she was aging ,she had all that wisdom which she had not earlier .Experience leaded her to a conclusion.She use to think that guy is next to god as he leaves her every night at ease during her younger days when she was extremely sick.But as days passed by ,he started being abusive and tortorous.He would not touch to beat her up or thrash her or love her but he would injure her with filth of verbal expressions.
She was feeling strangulated.She wanted an escape out of filth but she had nothing to do so.She had no one to be secure. She was penniless and highly helpless.She was classy ,subdued and mum.She could not come in terms with anything and everything.She wasn’t dashy or had that killer attitude.
She couldn’t share the society who would not believe her points at all.There was no one to step forefront and add a day of joy to her parched life.Even some grasses or thorns grow in desert during rains but she was mentally ,physically agonised and parched nearing to numbness .
Initially she kept mum about his debilities as she thought she herself was severely sick,secondly when she explored out the reality ,she feared if he kills himself out of trauma,so she dumbed herself deliberately.But when he went on oozing filth without reason every now and then she started moving to a state of hopelessness ,desperation,fear eventually sick and hugged deliberate depression segregating herself away from society and completely cornered herself.
She was often accused of her disabled feminity calling names and filth.If she ever retialated she was shut up by louder traumatised high voltage drama playing victim card quite smoothly oozing out filth.
She wanted an escape….she tried reaching every relatives,no one cared.She was away from all the practicalities and norms of the present scenario as she detached herself completely from everything. Nothing mattered her.
She laid down sad and expressionless day after night,night after day.Sometimes some unavoidable situations would make her plastic smile cover up every tough situation.
She would go on seeking her silver lining amidst of cloud.Fifteen long years passed and she did not find any solace ,still waiting for her day….awaiting soul ,awaiting blessings…..
She could not adopt,she wanted to feel each day how each day marriage changes a woman’s life.She felt her life a curse.She started admonishing herself.She wanted to feel the sweet bondage of marriage step by step so that she could prepare herself even for adoption.What would she do with the child when she herself is in such a vulnerable state of mental disbalance?
#bonobology #adoption #advice #relationship