The ringing phone would skip her heart out of her body,she would leave everything handy to pick up the call,the only hope,the sweetest mirage.
Monica in anticipation would pick up the call and Ryan would say”It’s great we are back together,you are in my corpuscles,in my nerves,I would beg ,borrow and steal to stay together and make you happy with our offspring ,who would have your complexion and my intelligentia”.
She would giggle like a flower ,and her joyous cocophony would reach him.
He would call innumerable times,day and night ,and she would be in seventh heaven dreaming ,anticipating and desiring all incomplete dreams she has knitted with Ryan when both were at their teens.
Ryan was speaking to Monica after eight long years .He has his wife Kim and his son Timothy who cannot speak and hear.
Monica broke her engagement with Ryan when he was away for officers’ training at Dehradun ,Indian Military Academy. She had lot of adverse situations in her family and she was not able to cope up with.She called Ryan for immediate help,but Ryan could not understand the intensity of the problems she was confronting.
Monica thought Ryan won’t ever be able to take her responsibility ,so she married someone else ,more because ,she thought he could be the most responsible guy and he could be her escape route from her unbreathable situation.
She married Rahul, but due to some birth defect or some other factors of Rahul ,their marriage was only in pen and paper ,it was not consummated.
They adjusted,stayed together,faced all difficulties together.Inspite of that they hid each other’s feelings and desires and never trespassed their personal arena.
In the mean time Ryan caught her up once in facebook ,and they enlivened each other’s lost love and sharing their respective stories.
Ryan would say ,” His life would have been totally different if she would have been there in his life”!!! She would hear him,feel him,repent,lament and sob with him over the phone.
Whole day and night whenever they would be free from each other’s spouses they would outburst their incompleteness,rage,extreme emotions and come close.
Monica would call him to meet her.He would cover more than two hundred kilometers just to see a glance of her.Then gradually he would settle for a day or a two in her house when her husband was out or plan out for short tour and shared their intimate moments.
He would often say ,” How desperate I am, to leave that bitch ,Kim and turn her out of my life.” He would say ,”you are my real love and she is just a fuckin material,and nothing else”.
Then he would add,” she has pissed my life,I survive and breathe because of you Monica.”
Monica trusted him ,believed him .Her love was blind.He would always stay in touch keeping both of their phone connected ,day and night,night and day .
Monica would ask him when does he go for his office or job ,he would stop her saying ” everything is operated from home”.
He would always complain about his wife and say , ” The child birth was a fluke,I hate her to such an extreme level that I ,never go close to her or touch her”.”Moreover she has a skin disease too”,he would add up to make it more intensely trustable by Monica .She would rely blindly.
Kim worked in a call centre ,eight hours out of home ,might be more.He would use every bit of the time to create sensation with Monica ,virtually over the phone,and practically he would be intimate with his wife Kim when she returns ,a very henpegged ,obedient husband indeed!!! He would excite himself sensuously talking to Monica and would sizzle in his sex life with Kim,breaking the monotony of eight years of married life. So Monica would act like a catalyst to keep the sex obsessed wife kim happy by Ryan’s sly efforts.
Ryan would say ,” My wife tortures me to the extreme level.She is indescent and ambitious. When Monica would ask him,”what kind of indecency you are talking about Ryan?” He would say ,”While we are in bed ,she actually leads,and goes to wild extent!” Monica would feel shy as she is very calm and gentle kind .She would feel helpless sometimes .She would feel of losing her confidence in her gentle ,decent feminity. She would often ponder , “What does my man want from me?”
“kim, had been brute and cruel to my parents and married me for the sake of property”, Ryan would cry out in despair often. Monica would feel sad for everything that has happened to him because of her.She would be filled up to the edge with guilt.She wanted to accept change and grab the god sent oppurtunity instantly .Ryan would take her to the world of imagination but would not go real ever,he knew it very well. Monica expected the most realistic thing like a way farer in desert ,asking water from a mirage to quench the thirst of incompleteness.
During the time of festivals he would switch her off at his ease for two and a half months without any contact ,all of a sudden.
After that when he would feel like he would switch her on saying ,” she tortured me so much ,that I poisoned myself ,landed to a hospital for months “. Monica would cry and sob and get sick ,thinking about him.She is so helpless on the other side he would comfortably lodge himself in the cosy comfort of Kim’s arm, his wife’s arm. Monica would not understand.She would try all her possible means to reach him but in vain.This way he would switch on and off according to his ease and give varying innumerous illogical witty reasons of his disapperance.
If Monica would try to argue with him,he would again move into hibernation mode. For Monica he was the source of her breathing.She was guarded by four walls of her house situated in far flung areas ,uninhabited by people in the woods.
She had no other alternative other than Rahul to stay with.Day by day ,they were getting far in their ideologies and picking up vigorous fight.Monica would feel time is flying,she would try to accomplish everything and live a normal life with a loving husband and a child of her own. She would often feel deserted for a kid,a consummated marriage,a husband in real sense,companion of every single and minute things .Basic things are so much elusive for her! This is difficult to digest for her.
On the other side Ryan would promise her,vouch on his son’ s name and go on framing story of dew covered honey lies to her. She would wait for a day when all her sufferings would come to a halt forever and she would live a superactive life ,as other woman lives.
Ryan would tell her”Hey baby,do not be morose, I would settle down with you and my son .We would have our baby too .we would fly to a distant land and live happily ever after,far away from incompleteness,agony and sufferings”.
He would all of a sudden call Monica in weird hours to hear her voice and say ” “Come on babes, tell me those three magic words fast”. She would be elated and whisper the proof of her idiosyncracy in his ears over the phone.
This way five years had alreaady passed by and from him there was not a single promise being kept.Monica would feel wretched but she had insecurities,despair and hopelessness in her heart of hearts.She feels herself unfortunate enough not to get the basic things of life.
For Monica ,it was tough going.One day she took commitment from Ryan .He fixed a date that after 16th of August ,he would be free as his wife is going for a mutual divorce.He said his wife has a boyfriend Augustine ,whom she is going to marry. When Monica asked him about Timothy his son,he said he would claim him later from the court.He would very lightly say,”that’s not an issue.” Monica knew Ryan’s heart stays in Timothy. So she ensured about him.
He would call up Monica and say, ” How happy I am ,that Bitch gonna leave me forever,She has used her son as a pawn.” “She treated me like a money minting machine”.” She is responsible for ruining me and killing my parents bereaving them of all happiness”.
Monica would cry with him feeling his immense pain.He would show her his lunch plate and say” see how she puts lunch for me,as if she is serving to street dogs,all filth she serves”.” I don’ t get to eat homely food after my mom left me for her heavenly abode”.See Monica” I am on medication,all this stress lead me to nerve disorders”,he would say. Monica would pray and vigorously fast for his recovery.
Monica would become dumb stuck and feel so sorry for him.
He would make her emotional, crack a joke to make her smile,create sensation admiring her.She would float in imagination far far away from the reality.
When she would sometimes be very angry and adamant smelling his fishy mannerisms and start declining his calls ,he would threaten”If you do not take my call ,I would disclose everything to your husband”. He did that too calling and messaging every thing creating and filling admonitions to the last extent in Rahul’s heart when Monica ,once did’nt receive his incessant calls.
She would beg Rahul to keep her,she would regret ,lament falling on her husband’s knee but he would go more unadjusting making her life a hell.Then after one full year when things though ugly was just settling between Rahul and Monica, Ryan entered like a tsunami blowing a death ringing call and said , “sweetheart ,I love you,I did that so that he leaves you and we both move together.” Again Monica falls in the trap.
These goes on for “more than several ” times ,still Monica remains dumb,deaf and blind.She never wanted to confront the reality of Ryan.She was afraid to visualise his dark hideous phantasma like appearance.She was basking in complacency of her Ryan’s love and smiling sometimes thinking of Ryan’s lovely words” baby ,my baby ,baby stressing on baby splitting honey drops lies pleasing n ethereal.She waited and waited in anticipation all her life,she just wanted only a bit of his moments just for her,only her.She loves no one other than him all her life.
This way Ryan would manipulate,manage and mishandle the relationship as he wished.Not only over phone in voice call,he would be in message box,whatsapp,fake id’s of facebook,viber,lines,skype,imo everywhere he would ensure his diabolic presence in Monica’s life who was an epitomy of innocense for the sake of Ryan’s love ,blindly.
He would sometimes frame a solid story ,present before his wife and she would witch hunt Monica everywhere to insult her like a predeator.Monica would fear and stay mum suffering bit by bit.She would feel headache,nauseatic and ill often.
Ryan used to come to her once in a blue moon ,might be in six months once. She won’ be able to mother atleast a kid that way,as minimum intimacy required to be impregnated was missing.A kid who would somehow make her feel significant in absence of that disloyal man ,she had in her life.She started smelling Ryan’s dualism.
He would keep his family safe but gradually dislodging Monica who had no one in the world except Rahul ,who atleast sheltered her.
Monica would try to call him,when he would disappear suddenly and she could hear,”The person you are trying to reach has either switched off or not available at this moment”. She would go on calling for years but no response.
Monica would try to catch him or his wife’s facebook Id from a dummy Id but could not trace him,as he deactivated his account. His wife had publicly shared her family snap shot , all three happily clicking togetherness in a beautiful fort far away from Kolkata to a new city ” Hyderabad”.A happy ,prosperous family with their pet altatian and his father in law staying with them.All have accomodation in his life except the girl who looked up to him and trusted him so much.
Monica was speechless,numb and nauseatic.She was feeling so very much disgraceful inside. How this people cheat someone so easily !!! She could not believe herself.She was just like a lifeless statue no one to hold on.Her emotions ,sensitivity lead her nowhere.Is this manly? These sweet lies dont have proof or cannot be legally fought for.But she want justice in her heart of heart.She feels her life as a curse.Some are physically not a man and some are soulfully not a man.Either of the thing is dangerous but soulfully if someone isn’t a man that’s more dangerous!!!
He was same who left his most desired army officer job before passing out parade as Monica was not in his life.He was the same who waited for hours for her glance.He was the same who rushed for medicines when she use to cry like a baby in pain.She was in tears sobbing all day. She could not believe the ground she was standing on.It was all convulsions.She knew not how to gather herself.So many fond memories haunting her soul and mind.Why do people play such sly games even with those who genuinely loves them?
His honey dewed lies reverberates and rings her in the ear,she gets horrified,a chill runs through her spine and nerves.She is shaky,total nervous breakdown She could not rise up anymore ,she slips,skids,falls.She is deeply demolished.
All the girls ,please don’t get driven by your emotions.You can be badly played down by this sly fox kind a people in lamb’s attire.Believe only yourself .Do not blindly fall in love or trust blindly.Your life too matters.Understand your significance as well.Don’t quit for a sly fox…..
#blindlove #blogging #lies #awareness #bitterexperience #advice #breakup #blogging #story #bonobology